Growing up without cellphones

A friend e-mailed the following to me and I thought it too good not to repost.

It is not my composition but I’m sure the author would not have any issues with me publishing it.

Growing Up Without Cellphones

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning….Uphill… Barefooted… BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

  • I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
  • There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
  • Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our arses! Nowhere was safe!
  • There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
  • Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our cars. We’d play our favourite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Because, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
  • We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a engaged signal, that’s it!
  • There weren’t any freaking cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH!!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
  • And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
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  • We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just one screen… Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
  • You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!
  • Some of us older folk didn’t even have TV. There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Mornings. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
  • And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
  • And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!
  • And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place! See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in the1960’s and70’s or any time before!

And you idiots, don’t you know the brim on a cap is to protect your eyes from the sun, if the manufacturer wanted it in the back they would have put it there!

The Over 40 Crowd

The End is Nigh

The end is nigh or is it?

What is it with the weather patterns and natural disasters around the world? The poor people of Queensland in Australia are only just coming to terms with the devastating floods which hit them earlier this year. Now they have to clean up after the worst storm ever to hit the east coast of Australia in the form of Cyclone Yasi.

The USA has also had it’s share of bad weather with unbelievable snow storms hitting various states in the Mid West and Eastern Seaboard, leaving thousands of homes without power.

Here in New Zealand we are experiencing one of the hottest summers on record with temperatures reaching a whopping 40 degrees in Christchurch and other South Island towns. Not to be outdone, the North Island is also experiencing huge temperatures and very high humidity. In our ten years here this is without a doubt the hottest I’ve experienced.

And now the folk of Western Australia are being battered by devastating bush fires in and around Perth. One asks oneself how much more can these poor people endure?

With all these natural disasters happening in all parts of the world as well as all the violent protests being experienced in Egypt and parts of Africa and elsewhere one is prone to ask that question, “Is the end nigh?” or is it reinforcing what the “Greenies” are saying about global warming?

Personally I don’t really have a problem with the heat, I much prefer it to the cold wet NZ winters. Anyway back to the burning question (excuse the pun).

Is the end nigh?

Chat soon